April '20

Dreaming of rising to the heights of the human anatomy greats such as Gustav Fritsch or Victor Frankenstein, Hubert Ponožka, the club's secretary, set out to exploring the hypothesis that in the spring, some people’s frontal bones stiffen.

He arranged a tournament for the councilors, making them clash literally head-to-head. Using a microphone, he carefully recorded the volume intensity of the collisions, a method which was flawless except for two tiny details. First, the potent echoes resulting from the impact was more telling of the impressive cavities in their heads, rather than any bone hardiness. Second, he learned that even the smallest fracture noticeably changes the recorded track. Had Hubert known that at the beginning, he would have cancelled the three initial unmeasured practice rounds.

A scientist, however, must show endurance and the capability to build upon the success of his predecessors - in Hubert's case, Viennese physicist Gabriel Janka, who in 1906 published “The Hardness of Wood”. The hard-cover (no surprise here) book introduced a wood hardness test based on measuring the force needed to hammer half of a metal sphere (11.28 mm diameter) into different types of wood.

Unfortunately, the same level of adamance was shown by Hubert's colleagues, who refused to submit a single one of their cranial bones to the Janka hardness test, in spite of having as many as twenty-two to spare. In exchange for Hubert discontinuing his experiment, they allowed him to decorate the green April sock with one more color. Yet another victory of hard science over hard-headedness. So symbolic that this should happen in the spring!