December '16

When beginning to think about December and the related Christmas holidays, we were immediately struck by one particular and somewhat uncomfortable thought. Jesus of Nazareth remains one of the most frequently depicted people in the history of mankind; however, we have failed to find even a single depiction of him wearing socks. We began to fear the worst. Was the Son of God perhaps a sock detractor? And so we began studying the Four Gospels of the New Testament, which capture all of Jesus’s terrestrial (and apparently barefoot) steps. Regrettably, we have found no direct mention of socks in the Scripture. We were now only left with inferring Jesus’s attitudes towards socks from other, more general biblical teachings. The passage we have determined as key is that where Jesus washes his apostles’ feet. From here we have deduced that the man who has dedicated his last evening partly to thorough pedal care for his friends must have held a world view not too divergent from that of Ponožkovice. Having made such a discovery, the Ponožkovice Council was swept by a wave of implacable excitement about the upcoming Advent and its peak in the form of Jesus’s two-thousand-and-sixteenth birthday celebration. The squares on our December sock model symbolize the four weeks of Advent.